Ghosting: Maybe It's Not What You Think It Is

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Ghosting: Maybe It’s Not What You Think It Is

By Leslee Layton & Chasen Shaw

Leslee is a wedding filmmaker and owner of Leslee Layton Films. Chasen is a certified Wedding Entertainment Director and owner of PartyBox. Together they are the founders of Let’s Revel.


I recently responded to a couple’s inquiry, but I never heard back from her.  Until last week, when she wrote:

“I want to apologize for not getting back to you sooner….I get overwhelmed sometimes with vendor responses and when it’s out of my budget I tend to not respond.  Which is really rude on my part and totally not intentional. I have gone with another videographer but that’s in no reflection on your talent and I’m sure you are worth every penny! I just didn’t have enough left in my budget to afford your services unfortunately.”   

I replied thanking her, of course, and then I thought a lot what she had to say.  Couples are stressed. Out!! They are sending inquiries to countless people, getting emails back at all different price points and in all different packages and formats.  They often don’t hear back (yup, they are ghosted), and sometimes they get bombarded by one pesky salesperson. It can be a lot to deal with, especially when it’s your first time to plan an event, let alone your wedding.

Maybe we shouldn’t feel so bad when couples ghost.

It is almost certainly not about you personally.  After all, they did reach out to you in the first place, so they must have liked what they saw.  With so much going on, couples do what we all do; made a choice and kept going.

To engaged couples who feel overwhelmed

We know it can be difficult to write back to everyone you’ve reached out to.  Heck, sometimes it’s hard to remember who all you’ve sent inquiries to.

  • Just a quick reply saying, “Thanks, but we’ve gone another direction” is fine if you’re short on time.

  • If you have a few extra seconds, it’s helpful to know how we could improve, if the reason is due to budget, or maybe something else.  Did the pro take too long to reply? Was their information confusing? Let them know. Your feedback is helpful and pros take it seriously. 

As wedding pros, how can we help couples in their booking process?  

Here are a few ideas:

  • Reply as quickly as possible to their inquiry.  

  • If you can, answer all their initial questions in your first reply.  One reason couples ask for pricing right away is because they don’t want to waste their time or yours.  If you’re hesitant to reply with at least a price range, it’s understandable that they may not give you another chance to visit with them.  If you require a consultation before quoting a price, it’s still helpful if couples have a ballpark of how much they can expect to spend.

  • If you’d like to schedule a phone call or video chat, make it easy for them to schedule with a Calendly link, or offer a couple of choices that both work for you.  

  • If you don’t hear back from them soon, send them a polite reminder or two letting them know you’re here to help.  

  • Give them an easy out if they need it by sending a final email asking them to please reply to let you know if they’ve gone another direction.  The last thing you want to do is bug them if they’ve hired someone else.

  • Very often, engaged couples need to be educated on why wedding services cost a certain amount. That’s a subject for a whole blog series, but we should always be respectful of a couple’s time and their budget.  If you know you can’t fit their budget, don’t lead them on. Consider referring them to another pro in your category who does great work.

  • If their budget is too low for referral to a quality pro, educate them on why what they are looking for may cost more than they may be budgeting.  

Even if they don’t book with you, you can be a helpful guide to couples by pointing them in the right direction rather than letting them walk into more frustration.

Just remember, they may not book your services, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.


What is Let’s Revel?

Let's Revel is educating engaged couples on how to create the wedding experience they dream about but have no idea how to create.  Let’s Revel is soon to launch a web-based solution for engaged couples and wedding professionals frustrated by outdated wedding planning websites.  We are introducing a new opportunity to connect you with certified wedding pros. That means no scammy amateurs, no ghosting, less stress. Only the good stuff. The way the Internet was supposed to work. Click HERE to get the low-down when we launch.


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