5 Wedding Ceremony Mistakes to Avoid
When you think about it, weddings are perhaps the only ceremony we experience as a society these days. Definitely one of, if not THE biggest moment of your life up to that point. And yet, when engaged couples sit down with me, they’re really more concerned with the success of the reception. The ceremony is an afterthought. A given. Yeah yeah, the ceremony will happen, and then…
They don’t realize their wedding ceremony will directly impact their reception.
Nobody teaches this in school, but the moments of your ceremony are meant to be precious, timeless, intimate. It is your outward expression of this shared inward feeling.
CAUTION: If you are concerned with appearances, this article is especially important.
If you are concerned with being vulnerable in front of others, this article is even more important.
Mistake 1: Hiring the most affordable officiant
The officiant plays a vital, and often overlooked, role. This is the person who speaks the majority of the time. The voice over your wedding ceremony. The announcer, presenter, story-teller, and public crier of your newlyweddedness.
Don’t pick a good one. Pick a great one! Meet them. Get to know them. Like them. They need to like you, too. It’s better if they don’t sound like they sounded last week, or even earlier that day. How do you get that out of them? By being more than just another couple to them. Become friendly with them and they’ll do better 10 times out of 10 times. And those are good odds, because you only get to do this once.
Mistake 2: Forgetting the audio
How many times have you been to a wedding that looked amazing, but you had trouble hearing what is going on? Or you can only hear the officiant? Or you could barely hear the music? Or it was too loud? There are a million ways to mess up a wedding ceremony, and almost all of them have to do with what is heard.
Put effort into hiring quality audio professionals and invest time with them to get exactly what you want.
Mistake 3: Forgetting the vows
We don’t actually mean forgetting the words. We mean forgetting the impact and importance of the vows. Think about your words and what they mean as you write them or choose them. Make sure they are more meaningful than the proverbial “in your ears, out your mouth.” They should made it to your heart.
Give your vows some attention long before the wedding day. Heck, maybe write your own vows - but for your own sake, do not Google that either. Not only unoriginal, but you’re basically reading someone else’s vows. No matter what you decide to declare to your partner, make sure you know it, repeat it often, internalize it and boldly proclaim it in your own voice. Your future self will thank you.
Mistake 4: Focusing on the reception
Yes, the ceremony is shorter than the reception. And yes, you’ve likely invested more time and money in the reception. But without the ceremony there will be no reception, only a party. The ceremony is also an entertaining event. And you’re the entertainment! Your performance, in the role of himself or herself, will be remembered. But will it be award-winning? I think we can all have award winning performances when we focus on these key characteristics:
Pride - Your soulmate wants to spend their life with YOU. It’s one of the best days ever.
Love - Everyone is there because they love you. Accept their gifts and be in the moment.
Humility - This is time when it’s OK to let others in. Be vulnerable and watch as everyone connects.
When couples put these ceremony tips into practice they see the desired results immediately, and forever. The guests are family now. They don’t want to leave. They want to stay and laugh and dance and celebrate. And that’s exactly what you said you wanted in the first place.
Mistake 5: Getting to the End Safely
Fear of anything will always drive out the goodness that was meant to be. Afraid of looking silly as you cry and you will miss the chance to show how much it means to you. Afraid to write your own vows, too proud to ask for help, and you miss the opportunity to create your own unique covenant with your partner.
You’ll never get to the end safely. You’ll either get there with intentional steps toward your desired destination or you’ll get there in a forgotten blur with a lot of missed chances and maybe even some regret.
Knowing that the day will come and go just like every other day can help put it in perspective. After all, you are investing hundreds of hours into one day. Don’t be afraid of it when it gets here. Be bold! Be Proud and humble. Be love on your wedding day. Revel in it!
Does this message resonate with you? Will you please consider sharing it? Together we can spread the message of authentic connection for better wedding experiences.
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